In the soft morning light, I find myself considering the words we express to each other. In the echo of words someone else said with angst, I hear myself on other occasions. If there is a mark which only came to me with age, it is the pause I take when I feel compelled to say something when my emotional cup overflowing.
I wish I could say that I am finally getting the right balance. Life reminds me that this is not true. I carry the memory of far too many interactions where I said something that I wish I had said differently or not at all. In some cases, it was poorly worded or out of context. In other situations, my words reflected my fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Especially with the latter, I wish that I had been able to simply be silent.
Life’s lessons which are fresh and raw today include the following exercises.
In an intense moment, practice giving yourself the time to imagine the story from at least one other perspective, if not two or more. My view is rarely complete. Even when it is, it is unlikely that the views of others involved are complete. When I see the moment from another perspective, the question of what comes next follows.
When the urge to say something is overwhelming, I try to ask myself why. Often, my answer to the why question rests in a personal need for justice, accountability, and fair play. Letting go of my need, embracing the needs of others along with my own, opens my heartto the question of what comes next.
When I hear others, gifting each with the space to be human is the greatest gift I can bring. It is hard to look beyond the immediate. Echoes of past linger, “Yes, a reward to the one who grabs your babies and smashes their heads on the rocks!” (Psalm 137.9). Am I willing to see the story behind the words I hear?
I am thankful for every emotion. I also love using my emotions for good.
