The conversation was intense, candid, and, frankly, not very pretty. Actions taken days previously were now visible to all. The trust and confidence between colleagues had, from my perspective, been called into question by the decision another took not to act on what was agreed. My attempt to share my feedback had failed. What was heard was not the message I was trying to deliver. Whatever helpful observations I might have had were lost in the intense exchange of views which had unfolded.
When someone, anyone, shares a personal observation with the individual involved, it is difficult to anticipate what is going to follow. These include the messenger, the receiver, and everything in between. Everything can be difficult. From the relatively easy messages about one’s safety and well-being can be heard in ways never imagined by the messenger. When other factors kick in, pressure, stress, tiredness, fragile confidence, and hope fighting with darkness, the process is often a drama waiting to explode.
Two recent failures on my part to deliver what I thought was helpful feedback is taking me back to Life Whispers and lessons I thought I had embraced without reservation.
Intent matters. Wisdom words remind me, “You do well when you complete the Royal Rule of the Scriptures: ‘Love others as you love yourself.’” (James 2.8) If I consider the most recent episode, an intentional pause and reflection on my starting point would have guided me back to the purpose of the conversation. Given the outcome, the original purpose was lost. Rediscovering what was lost is now more important than the issue at hand.
Context matters. The old words, “to everything there is a season…” are haunting me. While the issue was very important to me, I am not sure it ws “the” most important issue which needed to be resolved at that time.
The receiver matters. Sometimes acting in love is difficult and tough. As challenging as it can be, keeping the individual at the center will help align everything which follows. Building on Divinity’s patient love with oneself is my first step.
