A random question was left hanging.
“Do you know that you turn your head a certain way, tilted to the right and with a slight forward tilt?”
There was no context to the question. To my knowledge, I had not expressed this physically in any recent conversation. Looking back, while I have seen myself doing this, as I thought about it, I was not consciously aware of a reason or intent for this specific body expression.
“Hmmm, what is it saying to you?”
“I see and hear cocky arrogance.”
I have come to accept studies which confirm that our communication is largely non-verbal. Living in a multi-lingual society, it is easy to forget this fact as one focuses on the easy stuff – understanding non-English words in context. Locally, Arabic, Urdu, and a few other Indian languages are common. Filipino, Swahili, and other languages filter in as well. It is hard to pick up the obvious, and seemingly impossible to understand the body language which goes with it unless it is obvious.
As I wrestled with the question, I wonder if I realize what I am saying to others. Do I intentionally align my non-verbal communication with my verbal intent? I find myself replaying scenes where I carelessly ignored what I was saying through action and demeanor. It was as if I was in an old story where “alongside the quaking aspens we stacked our unplayed harps.” (Psalm 137.2). Nothing is being verbally expressed, however there are loud and clear messages.
The lesson shared by a young receptionist lingers.
A patient smile and eye to eye contact delivers instructions wrapped in kindness and care. I am thankful for the example I experienced yesterday when I took the next step with vouchers in hand. I had not been given the next step and it was not intuitively obvious. As the young man ran after me, everything in his body language expressed hope, empathy, and service.
May my fine print always echo the best of the love, hope, and compassion I hold close to my heart and community.
