In cultures where food and gracious hospitality are intertwined, I have discovered that there is an art to being served, enjoying the disk, and politely letting one’s hosts know that you have had your fill.
The protocol is simple. One enjoys each dish to the full. This means one finishes the dish, every bite reflecting reverence for the food and those involved. The hosts will refill your dish to let you know that you are welcome in this house of plenty. Stopping is a difficult dance. Despite my best efforts, my words never come out the way that I hope they will. Experience suggests that one needs a non-verbal solution that saves face for everyone.
With a vegetarian preference, there is a second layer I have come to appreciate. How does one validate the content without implying that the hosts have forgotten? I understand the blunt approach. If in doubt, it is always an option. I want to believe that there is something better.
Two suggestions. First, breaking bread with someone is always better when one is communicating on multiple levels. As singular as eating can be since the act of eating is usually a series of personal steps, it changes when one is emotionally engaged with others at the same time. Looking into another’s eyes can change the taste and experience of eating a dish. Asking questions and gaining an understanding with one’s host as the disk is consumed will heighten one awareness and sensitivities to what follows. Savoring each bite, from first to last, together adds a secret ingredient. Even the act of completeness, at least for a time, opens a door to letting the experience linger.
In this context, I experienced the Psalmist’s words in a new way. “God has a cup in his hand, a bowl of wine, full to the brim. He draws from it and pours; it’s drained to the dregs. Earth’s wicked ones drink it all, drink it down to the last bitter drop!” (Psalm 75.8)
Warning, this will continue until you enjoy everything except the last bite.
