I love to coach. Life seems to provide a mysterious catalyst that takes a shared insight and uses an individual’s desires, knowledge, and passions to create an outcome greater than anyone imagined. Being a part of the process is fulfilling and rewarding. As good as it can be, sharing advice or insights does not result in great outcomes for either party. Life’s reminders to me include the following.
There is no point in sharing one’s thoughts, no matter how wise they might be, with someone who is unable to hear. If one feels compelled to share, be sure there is someone listening. Words that do not find a home often go on walk about, absent and empty.
For someone to hear, there needs to be an interest or desire in more. The form of the interest may vary; examples include a desire for change, an unsolved problem, or a lingering question. Whatever form it takes, the interest needs to be expressed, the desired confirmed. When I hear a someone paraphrasing the Psalmist, “Train me, God, to walk straight; then I’ll follow your true path. Put me together, one heart and mind; then, undivided, I’ll worship in joyful fear,” (Psalm 86.11) I know the possibility of hearing exists.
Sharing advice is best done as an unconditional gift. Attaching strings, even as simple as a requirement that hearer needs to use the advice, is an invitation to disappointment and future conflict. The strongest and most courageous keepers of wisdom know that truth cannot be changed or destroyed.
Free and unconditional gifts are priceless. Receiving advice can be a burden many struggle to accept and embrace. Additionally, I often forget that asking for help is one thing, doing something with what I receive is another! Ignorance does not take effort, change does. It can be hard, even painful to work with truth.
If one wants to be a coach, one needs to learn by being coached. One cannot teach or share without first listening, learning, and living new. The great teachers in my life never stopped learning.
