Everyone has a go-to place when things get tough. The list varies, from physical places to withdrawing within, from nature escapes to simply going for a walk. Wherever the place is for you, it is always a surprise when one discovers that s/he has retreated to the go-to spot without thinking or knowingly deciding to go there.
After catching myself by surprise in recent days, I now find myself reflecting on where and why I retreat. Old lessons have resurfaced, memories revisited, and the following observations drawn.
The where of one’s retreat is far less important than the why. I listen to the psalmist’s words, recognizing the metaphorical place of retreat as my own. “He’s the bedrock on which I stand, the castle in which I live, my rescuing knight, The high crag where I run for dear life, while he lays my enemies low.” (Psalm 144.2). The simple why is found in the outcomes which follow my retreat, restoration, recreation, and renewed energy.
While I should not be surprised when I find myself there, it is interesting to note that I still catch myself off guard. My reflection suggests that there are two overarching reasons. First, my carelessness in taking care of myself catches up with me. I often slip on the slope of conflicting priorities. I forget to take care of myself. I ignore the most important obligation at the expense of myself. When things begin to spin out of control, my inner self takes over and I find myself in a safe place, recovering as I rediscover the values I hold closest to my heart.
I wish I knew the secret formula or reminder which would ensure I never need to retreat to my place of refuge. It would be wonderful to be there so frequently that I never find myself surprised. I know the invitation is open. I understand that this is all within my control. I love the outcomes which always follow.
Today I will start in my go-to place. It is the first step of many in rediscovering home.
