As I slowly recover movement in my right hand, I am rediscovering the joy and wonder that comes with movements I have long taken for granted. The one that is just beginning is the ability to grip. Right now I am extremely limited in what I can grip. To anyone with full range of motion and ability, what I can grip would not even make their starting point. In my case, I have a reference point that most do not consider, no grip! From a no-grip starting point, I am reliving the emotions that a baby must feel when they realize that they can hold onto something. Most of the time, my grip is so fragile that I would not trust myself to hold onto the object. That is the bad news. The good news is that I can grip. It may be just a little more than nothing but it is more.
The limitation that comes with my ability to grip automatically triggers a broader reflection. What am I holding onto? How strong is my grip? Is it actually something that I want to hold onto and if so, how tightly?
I know there are assumptions that I should examine with fresh eyes. It is easy to anticipate that there are myths and pieces of fiction that part of the foundations to my perspective. Letting go and replacing these elements with the results of study and experience is always good. The challenge is to make sure my fresh grip is on higher and stronger truth.
I have already discovered that I am holding onto truths that I want to keep close to my heart. One of these is the connection between compassion, community, and caring with the God closest to my heart. To this God I willingly say, “You’re all I want in heaven! You’re all I want on earth!” (Psalm 73.25) I never want to let you go.
For now the journey is about extending my flexibility, reaching, and understanding what I can and should grip. It is a painful process with great reward.
