For much of my life, I have rushed from point A to B. For lack of a better way to describe my approach to living, I was on a mission. Nothing could get in my way. The destination was critical. Failure was not an option.
A brain tumor changed all that. I look back ten months to the time of diagnosis, remembering my confusion, fear, and annoyance. I had destinations! My bucket list was far too long for this interruption. I was responsible for important deliverables. What mattered did not. What was important was not. What I thought shaped my life was irrelevant.
If there is anything that I learned since then, it is this. The process of life that is found in my habits and ordinary routines are important. They trump deliverables. They take precedence over what I think must happen on the way to a destination. They speak of my heart values.
Today is a day when others remember me in my role as a father. I in turn think of my father and the incredible gifts he has given me over the years. I struggle to accept the positive affirmations because it is easier to see my weakness and failures. I am encouraged because of the life my father laid out. I know his character includes several flaws. I have experienced his failures.
My father gives me hope through his habits and routines. He has adopted a model others followed before him. When “Paul went to their meeting place, as he usually did when he came to a town, and for three Sabbaths running he preached to them from the Scriptures.” (Acts 17.2) Dad responds to others in need, willingly sharing himself. Dad gives without conditions, seemingly because it is what he does. Dad is always changing; aspiring to be live out his ideals. His doors are always open.
Our habits are ever changing. Life says they are important. Destinations change as we are in the present. We cannot control our decisions. We can choose where we focus. Our habits reflect our focus.
