Great buildings are more than a pretty look. As a graduate student examined plans for New York skyscrapers, he tested their resilience to acts of nature. In the process, he discovered a fundamental flaw in an ironic building.
I knew this building! It was a former employer’s headquarters. For a time, I worked across the street. Especially during this period, I had frequent meetings in the building with a flaw. If you had asked me if this was possible before the word came out, I would have said “no” with emphatic belief. Yet, the truth was always there if one was willing to look inside.
On a morning where the sun is struggling to show itself through the fog, I am reminded of my willful blindness. More often than I like to admit, I know the conclusion before the facts are clear. My external biases, especially with manners and the choice of words, often results in false conclusions. There are instances where I presume a lack of education or awareness when the truth is very different. Equally, with articulate good manners I will gift another with wisdom, only to discover a harsh reality.
This is not to say that words do not matter. They do! The important aspect of words is to examine them with honesty and openness. While the initial response will be one of “not my choice”, one needs to look at the intent and message. Equally, etiquette can be used for good as well as to manipulate. Never assume that good manners reflect a pure heart in another. I was surprised to experience slurping as a way of communicating thankful appreciation to the cook, even as an individual demographics suggested it was bad manners in action.
A psalmist observed, “if God doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks. If God doesn’t guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap.” (Psalm 127.1)
When one’s heart is grounded in love, kindness, and acceptance, authentic relationships follow. As I embrace God, I discover God’s touch in the lives and words of others.
