As we went into the heart of the negotiation, I found myself struggling with a sense of history. Specifically, was the person on the other side of the table going to, willing to remember the promises made in the past? It was an emotional challenge for me. The promises made impacted me far more than it did him. While I did not ask him to make them at the time, I accepted them with open arms in the spirit that they were offered. Now, with the passing of time, I wondered if they would be remembered and honored.
The voice of a wise friend has lingered with me; “Be careful with your commitments. I know if you commit, you will honor your commitment, no matter what the cost is to you.”
As I listened my mind wandered. Would he remember? Even if he did, would he honor his words of old?
I think of the countless times where I was hopeful coming into a decision point. As I look back, disappointment dominated positive outcomes. It is as if each experience reinforced that promises are rarely kept. It seems that many do not remember. It is hard to place a motive to the forgetfulness, yet with time it feels as if it is willful carelessness.
Even as my frustration rises, I find myself looking in the mirror. How often have I expected of others what I cannot or will not do myself? Additionally, are my expectations looking at history through glasses that only see what I want to see?
Although we have not revisited the past, the conversation seems to be reminding each that we both understand what was said in the past. The conversation seems to be moving on towards a holistic approach that is fair to everyone. If we had started there, I would have willingly accepted the proposition.
The psalmist reminds me “He [divinity] gave food to those who fear him, He remembered to keep his ancient promise.” (Psalm 111.05) Respecting the intent of others is a gateway to alternative ways of fulfilling promises.
