There are times where reality bites and it hurts. It is more than a scrape. It is sharper than a paper cut. Life hits with something that strike right to the core of one’s heart and being. It is an I-hate-being-an-adult kind of pain. Even as I think about it, I find myself crying, wanting it all to go away because everything will be all right. As I open my eyes, it is still here, it hurts, and it is overwhelming.
As a reminder to myself and anyone in this position, let me offer the following reminders.
Feel the blow. Let the pain dominate you if it is overwhelming. This is not something to deny or run away from. Each blow has taken more from you than you can possibly realize or deal with. This is the first step in getting past the domination the blow has established over one’s heart and mind.
Look for help. There is an enduring promise embedded in the stories of those before us; “In your desperate condition, you called out to God. He got you out in the nick of time;” (Psalm 107.6) This is not the time for retreating within one’s self. In letting others touch the pain, one begins a process of reconnecting and healing.
Be watchful and open to the response and ways of Love. Experience reminds me that my expectations are rarely the right starting points. Compassion, empathy, and love do not always fit into predictable containers.
Be patient. The deeper the pain the more desperate the situation feels. The desire for immediate relief often grows in proportion to the magnitude of what has hit. it can seem that it is impossible to live another day, even another moment. Repeat earlier steps in required. Endure and then endure some more.
Do what you can, when you can. There is very little I can do, but there is something I can do. In that small action, I reconnect. In reconnecting the pain seems diminished, if only a tiny bit.
Live on. It is out calling and purpose.
