I am in the quietness of a decision point. The decision is not mine alone, others are involved. As a natural consequence of this reality, I am not sure when we will know a decision has been taken or where the outcome will take me and us.
Experience reminds me that the biggest decisions of my life have always come with a quiet lull just before they are finalized. In this reflection, I remember that the quietness seemed to be richer with the presence of others. While those involved have changed, the emotional caring embrace of friends who are walking with me is eerily familiar.
I wonder what it would be like without them. In every imaginative scene, it is never pretty.
With our collective vision, I have been able to see light. It may only be a glimmer, as if it was a single candle struggling to remain on fire. As distant and illusive as the flicker might be, the fact that we can see and imagine makes all the difference.
The magnitude of the obstacles and challenge can seem overwhelming. When I review the situation through a lens filled with time, reality often turns out to be harsher and more challenging than anything we were able to see in the moment. If we had not been protected by our collective friendship and love, “we would have been swallowed alive by their violent anger.” (Psalm 124.3)
It is too easy to categorize the decision and what comes next as good or bad. Gerald May shared a personal story with me which challenges the accuracy of any immediate conclusion. In his life, repeatedly what seemed a miracle turned out to be something quite different as well as the reverse, disasters were never quite what they seemed.
In good and bad, as with today, it was the direction of the next step after the decision which matters. Am I walking towards a stronger, better, and more vibrant community? If I do this with others by my side, I am living my life with hope, community, and purpose.
