I do not remember the full context or exactly what was the date on the calendar. I do know my feeling before and after. The change was so abrupt that the moment etched itself firmly in my heart and mind. I felt cornered and in a dark place. Nothing was going right. I felt paralyzed. As I look toward the future, everything was bleak and fuzzy.
It that moment, I received an update. With a few works everything inverted. The darkness vanished, replaced by hope filled light. Despair flipped over to reveal a sense of possibilities. With a pause of thankfulness, I knew exactly what I was called to do in the moment at hand.
One word.
In hindsight, it could have been an idea which I could not see. In that moment, it was an update on another’s response. Being aware flipped my perspective. I then realized the new insight had been just beyond my line of sight. It had been there all the time.
Sadly, this was not the last time I found myself in a dark dead end. In remember the pivotal moment and the lessons that followed, I find myself going through a checklist.
Is my darkness creating a self-fulfilling bias so that I cannot see beyond? In the darkest moments of my life, it is time to pause and reflect. I know hope and help are just beyond what I can see. Am I willing to look with my self-imposed blinders?
Have I asked for help? With my long history of independence, I am often reluctant to seek wisdom within others. I now challenge myself to reach for the phone, share a coffee, or have an online chat with someone who I know has my back. Dialogues open windows with hope.
Will I remember what I already have? I may have the answer within. Admitting the possibility creates a door for awareness and light. Even now I hear the psalmist’s record of Divinity’s promise; “I’ll dress my priests in salvation clothes; the holy people will sing their hearts out!” (Psalm 132.16)
