I remember debating belly buttons as a kid. Is it better when they go in or out? Without search engines, there were no facts. Instead, we talked of others, their personalities and certain characteristics and the links between these points and her/his belly button. I do not recall that we ever settled on a single point of view.
I do not remember the last time I had the in/out debate. A recent conversation that takes me to the same place is a variation on the theme. Are we inward focused or outward?
Inward can be seen as reflective, take care of one’s self so that one can then take care of others, and we start within in order to go out. It can also be a short brutal commentary about someone who can only see and focus on themselves.
I am struck by the similarities between the arguments of my childhood and the debates of the current age. Not much has changed. Each sides presents a point of view without looking to understand the other. The debates are often subjective and at times defensive. Ironically, then and now, they miss a few points that keep coming back to me regardless of which side I try to stand on. These include the following.
Am I part of a family and a larger story or is everything always about “me”. No matter what words one wraps around one’s perspective, there are two distinct points of view. When I hear the words, “Take a good look at your servant, dear Lord; I’m the butt of the jokes of all nations,” (Psalm 89.50) I know the question is all about “me”.
Every hero in my life, past and present, takes care of him or her self while concurrently helping others. The purpose of their lives resolves around the larger story and the family. They start by taken care of their hearts in order to give away the gifts of compassion, empathy, and care that they have received.
In or Out? No need to choose, actions reveal the story.
