A few weeks ago there was a group of three. The ideas were flowing, the challenges on the mark, the outcomes of the conversation fantastic. We had sharpened the business ideas to a starting point we were excited about. We had individual takeaways that collaboratively gave the idea a solid foundation. Everything looked good. We were in.
Recently, it was clear that two were in, one was out. It was not a bang but a silent, no action whimper that brought us from where we were to where we are. On two fronts we have made good progress. On another, not so much. The big deliverable is still something we see in the distance. While we have a clearer view of what it should look like, it is still a combination of our collective imaginations. The discussions and journey brings out a series of learnings that go far beyond this idea.
Being “in” is a two-way decision. The community needs to decide if it wants you to be in or out. Traditionally, an invitation of some type follows. Additionally, before or after, the individuals must decide and demonstrate that s/he wants to be in. Invitations are never enough! Welcoming arms are not the complete story. Both are required. The process is only complete when the other is willing and acts.
There is more to saying “yes” than the word. Actions consistent adding value, participating, and affirming the goals inform the community as well as the invitee that the yes is a real, tangible, and committed yes. Anything short of that reminds me of hot air.
A “yes” is not just a one-time event. One needs to remake this decision often, even daily. When there are a series of “no” days, I find myself repeating the psalmist’s words; “No one who traffics in lies gets a job with me; I have no patience with liars. I’ve rounded up all the wicked like cattle and herded them right out of the country.” (Psalm 101.7) If one does not want to be in, one is not in.
