There is something sinister about going into the bathroom. I always like to blame two culprits, although I know there are merely the messengers! First, there is the mirror. My mind has become very effective in spinning mythology in my imagination. This works most of the time. Once ever so often, I see my external self accurately. Second, I hate scales. There is rarely good news! Most of the time it is neutral, nothing has changed. Occasionally, things get worse. The number of occasions with sustained good news, none that I can remember.
There is a bit of irony in this awareness. I pride myself on enjoying blues music early in the morning. It is the pathos of harsh reality that always has a note of hope. I like the paradox except when it gets personal! Somehow I like the imaginative image in my mind where everything works perfectly. I know it does not exists however it is as if I think that pretending that I am in a perfect world will make everything bad go away.
Life can be harsh. Life can be cruel. Bad knows no limits; it does not recognize deserving and innocent, protected and vulnerable.
A writer left us with a note about the impact of Evil on his life; “I’ve lost twenty pounds in two months because of your accusation. My bones are brittle as dry sticks because of my sin.” (Psalm 38.3) In my case, the outcomes maybe different but I know I can feel the results of Evil’s touch. It does not matter if I was innocent (rarely) or the source (usual), it hurts.
Even as I lament, I can hear a blues rift playing in the back of my mind. The feeling I have from the song describes the situation perfectly! Even as I sense darkness overwhelming and dominating, I hear the cry of Hope. I realize Hope is as close as my heart and voice. Even as I whisper the words, I experience the embrace of Love and Compassion. I can see darkness and light. Light wins.
