My phone chirped. The incoming message caught my attention; a friend that rarely messaged me was asking if I had time for a quick call. Even as I waited for the confirmation that my “sure” had gotten through my phone rang. Startled for the second time in as many minutes, I answered, wondering why the call was being made.
“Thanks for taking the time to talk. On behalf of many, I am sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“I heard from another that you had gone through something nobody should, and I wanted to let you know that I am sorry that you had to experience this.”
My mind was buzzing, remembering, analyzing, and trying to understand what sequence of events could have let to this conversation. Even as I wrestled with the uncertainties and probabilities, my mind drafted to a psalm; “God, listen! Listen to my prayer, listen to the pain in my cries.” (Psalm 102.1) Everything pointed to this conversation being the outcome of another listening.
I recently closed the loop with the the individual at the beginning of the chain. He humble response reminded me of several important mantras.
Deep listening often triggers empathy and action. In this case, even as I had lamented another heart the lament as an invitation to act. His action led to healing, closure, and an infusion of hope and courage.
Expressing one feelings is not always the end of the story. If one wants to move on, one must address the feelings and events that triggered the outcome. In this case, I forgave and let go of any and all negative emotions. The resulting peace reminded me of the importance of closing the circle, especially with my heart.
Differing viewpoints do not always need to be resolved. Alternative views do not need to be barriers to friendship, harmony, and collaboration.
As we laughed together, I could hear and feel his hurt. Even though I had a part, I also know I have a role in the healing. Laments are a step to the next that we choose to embrace.
