There is an ugly moment in my life which resurfaced the other day as an option. I am not sure why I was considering it. It has been over 15 years since it occurred. Even as I think about it, I am still horrified by my words. And yet, it was a consideration which has come resurfaced as an option for me in how I respond to a particular challenge.
The ugly moment was birthed in a moment of extreme frustration. At the time I felt as if there were no unexhausted options available. I had tried everything I could think of without success. At the end of my rope, to someone I deeply love, I bluntly and forcibly said “I give up. You are on your own. I am done with this.” Metaphorically, I walked away.
I still remember my instant horror in hearing my voice. Before the sounds had faded, my regret and attempts to repair the situation had begun. As I love back, my response could have been simple and to the point.
My message to myself now includes the following reminders.
Take care of your heart, soul, and physical being. This is a task you cannot delegate, ignore, and let go of. It is your primary responsibility. Start with this and if you act on this calling, Hope will be your close friend and ally.
Know, trust, and believe that the depths of your reserves are greater, much greater, than you think they are. I have come to appreciate and believe in the depths of Divine love. When the prayer was made, “reach all the way from sky to sea: pull me out of the ocean of hate, out of the grip of those barbarians,” (Psalm 144.7) it was done with the knowledge and confidence in Divinity’s response. As Divine children, we have a well within us that gives us the ability to love, cherish, and support when everything tells us it is hopeless and time to let go.
Choose to act with Hope. Lift others upwards. Be a positive force, always.
