The last dinner of the week was an amazing experience of new friends and great food. In between servings, I found myself caught in the table’s reflection. With clarity, I could see the decision at hand. Was I willing to commit to the future without reservation? Did I want to remain where I was? Even as life whispered, I knew my answer.
Every moment is a decision. The most revealing decisions are made when no one is looking. I reveal my heart more than I realise. As I look back, I see the small decisions that were natural to the point that I cannot remember thinking about any alternatives. In each, my values and priorities are revealed, if only to myself. Sometimes I want to deny what has already happened. I never anticipated that I would react to my fears in the way that I did. I did not imagine Selfishness taking over. In accepting truth, I open a door to learning and growth.
Complex decisions are often, at their root, simple choices. Do I act with kindness or make sure that I am taken care of? Will I lean into compassion or is justice my priority? When I am fully present and listening to my heart with hope, I will reach for the light. Alternatively, I find myself retreating into the darkness, thirsty for a sense of belonging while knowing I am running away from it. In the moment at dinner, my question was one of reaching for hope and a better future or retreating to a place of familiarity.
Great decisions are never halfway decisions. I knew my answer as I stared at the table. I will step towards a better future, without reservation. I will step forward the light knowing there is a just cause ahead of me. I hear old words replaying; “Don’t even run little errands that are connected with that old way of life. Throw yourselves wholeheartedly and full-time – remember, you’ve been raised from the dead! – into God’s way of doing things.” (Romans 6.13).
Carpe diem.
