The reference points do not really matter. Regardless of your specifics or mine, when it is life and death we desperately want life. There are times when life’s reality suffocates and consumes what little we have inside. We continue to put one foot ahead of the other, if only because it is the only thing we can do. If I document my thoughts, the first line would be the following. “My prayers were like lead in my gut, like I’d lost my best friend, my brother. I paced, distraught as a motherless child, hunched and heavyhearted.” (Psalm 35.14) I am out of options. Every turn seems to be a dead end.
I know you know the reality of this valley. We are both trying to help someone we love survive. We desperately want a good outcome, no matter what the odds! We understand there are bad outcomes in life, but not when it happens to someone with many years left on their clock.
I have no answers that will change the immediate. Friends I love will continue to suffer barring a miracle. People close to my heart will slowly slip away, despite my attempts to hold them close. In this, I can offer the following beliefs.
God hates this as much as we do. Divinity loves each unconditionally, wanting the best. In the battle with Evil, God has won but the drama is still playing out. As painful as it is now, a better day is coming.
In the seasons of our life, some are more difficult than others. Life can be ugly. Life can rip our hearts out.
Our choice now is what to do with the two points above. My choice is to love. Love deeply in the ways that you can. One may not be able to take away the pain, but one can express their love in words, extend their love in deed, and offer their love as a gift. Embracing in love, for what God has done for us, is the best thing we can do for God and for others.
