Age and miles came with a challenge I never considered when I was young. It is increasingly difficult to look in the mirror and have an honest conversation with myself. I do not think this is a weakness. Candidly, there is a hidden challenge in my life which has been there for as long as I can remember. Seeing one’s flaws, failures, and dark side is never easy. Accepting them is even more difficult!
As recent words of a friend replayed in my mind, there are many different perspectives to how we see ourselves. Additionally, there are many different viewpoints from the perspective of those around us. They may all be factually true however the question I find myself wrestling with is acceptance. Which view of “Bill” do I accept and believe in?
In the cast of a friend, his words were factually true. I know each of them intimately. I could tell the story behind them, some serious or sad while others are filled with laughter and hope. Hearing and reading them felt awkward, almost as if I should not admit to the high points in my life. A summary of my reactive feelings was that even though the kind words are true, my failures and shortcomings stand out. Even I write, I know how silly this sounds! I also know many struggle with me.
Life reminds me of the standing invitation which is always with me. I can embrace the way Divinity sees me as a foundation to life and living. If I wonder why, the premise starts Divine wisdom and insight. If I accept that, then Divinity’s view of me is more accurate than my own!
As I wrestle with this, I turned to see how God views me. The psalmist words speak to my Father and my role as a child; “I thank you, High God – you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration – what a creation!” (Psalm 139.14)
In accepting God and a friend’s words, I see a new reflection in the mirror.
