Last week I took advantage of being back in the US to have a physical. Every check on the day looked good. Weight on target, physical reactions present and accounted for, and even the stress test produced results within the expected band. The only thing missing was the blood tests.
Yesterday I made the call to get my results. I always begin to worry when the Doctor takes the call, not a good sign! Thyroid holding steady, prostate screen checks out clear, and all leading indicators except one indicating years of good health. But the one! A leading protein indicator for heart disease is normally found in a range of 3-5, my indicator came it at 43.6. Not good, especially for one who does not each meat or lots of dairy. I am not ready for this kind of mortality!
As I reflected over the past 16 hours about the findings I am not sure I am ready for a lot of things. I am not ready for my children to be adults. I am not ready for my wife to be old and feeble. I am not ready to retire. I am not ready to fold up tent and pass uneventfully on.
I am ready for a full relationship with God, whatever that might and will mean! I am ready for a host of reasons. I have seen myself in the harsh light of day and know with every fiber that I need God. I experienced God’s touch and mercy and want the experience to always be with me. I know that I am dying on a number of fronts and believe that God is my only answer. “But not everybody is ready for this, ready to see and hear and act.” (Romans 10.16)
I know that God loves you and I. I also know that both of us are mortal. We could easily fail at any moment in time! This means that our souls are at risk, especially in an eternal context. Understanding my mortality is great! It is the first step towards God.
