Must Ask

In any journey, one must take the time to ask questions.  Often the questions are of inquiry, wonder, and to solve a puzzle.  In moments of ease and difficulty, smooth and textured, I find it a struggle to ask and wrestle with the questions one must face.  I do not like conflict!  I hate uncertainty.  I struggle to accept anything less than perfection.  My dislikes apply to any and everyone around me.  In many ways, I put an even greater demand and expectation on my soul.  Despite my best efforts to avoid, the tough questions linger, begging to be held and released. 
There is an old conversation replaying itself in an unending loop that I cannot willingly release.  I think I get the point, but wonder if I am prepared to struggle with the Spirit's help in answering.
“'Isn't it true that a son honors his father and a worker his master?  So, if I'm your Father, where's the honor?  If I'm your Master, where's the respect?'  God-of-the-Angel-Armies is calling you on the carpet: 'You priests despise me!'  You say, 'Not so!  How do we despise you?'
 'By your shoddy, sloppy, defiling worship.'
 You ask, 'What do you mean, 'defiling'? What's defiling about it?'”  (Malachi 1.6)
The answer is obvious at least to me.  Worship is never a single act.  It is the steps of a journey.  It is the handiwork of your hands and mine.  Whatever it is, it is found in the way we live our lives.
Far too often, my life is shoddy.  There are far too many squandered opportunities for exercise compassion.
Even as I deny, I know that I can be very sloppy.  The evidence is the darkness of the night is far to compelling to be anything but the truth.
I know I hold onto other gods.  I worship the god of self.  I wander after the god of indulgence.  I long for the god of success.
I know a God that understands exactly where I am.  In this knowledge, this God offers redemption and recreation without hesitation.