An old story and the lessons which followed recently resurfaced with a new generation of colleagues. The lesson began in my early days in banking. On the advice of a mentor, I read a book on power and control. While there is a significant dark side to how one can apply the insight, one person manipulating and exerting control over another, it is also helpful to understand when another is in a superior position.
Initially, I experimented with the various techniques in serving others and giving deference. Each in its own way can change the relationship between two individuals. The first lesson was foundational. Unless I was natural in my response to a situation, I lost the opportunity.
As the lessons became part of my natural response, the next evolution of this followed when I shared it with colleagues a decade later. A game emerged in which we competed to see who was in control. The outcomes reinforced the earlier lesson of how a natural response always precedes one where one had to think about it.
As experience revealed the connection, new lessons combined with the old. Recent events have taken me back to the core.
One’s natural reactions to a given situation tell a story of what is within your heart. If one wants to change the way one responds to any given situation, the priority is to work on the heart, not the action.
Be ruthless in looking in the mirror. False impressions will not lead to seeing one’s actions with clarity and insight. As misleading as this is, there is an even greater risk in not reading and understanding one’s heart. Without the latter, there is little opportunity for true change.
If one wants to be something different, put oneself in the presence of what you want to become. This is something I try to always carry with me. Pursue relationships which inspire and call one to greatness. My best example is what I find and admire in Divinity; “He launches his promises earthward – how swift and sure they come!” (Psalm 147.15)
