As I watch good friends wrestling with the challenges of first babies in their lives, I am reminded of how clueless I was with the first baby in my life. Although the number of information sources is greater than it has ever been, I am convinced every parent sees their challenges as unique! Just like myself, it is hard for new parents to hear the wisdom of others who have gone before them. In the moment with a new baby, I had an equal measure of absolute confidence in one hand and screaming fear of the unknown if the other. I was so sure and unsure at the same time! In hindsight, the individuals I listened to the most often had little or no more information than I had.
Today I watch, listen, and smile. It is good to be carried back to the happiness that a child brings to every parent’s heart. Then and now I see and experience love differently because of their unconditional and unreserved gifts of love and trust.
To anyone wrestling with the unknown in the moment and the future, I would offer the following observations.
You are never alone. Others have gone before you and are coming behind you. As difficult as it seems, as crazy and chaotic as it is, others have been in your shoes. When you look at others, especially ones who have lost it or seem perfect, remember, each has their moments of love and success as well as failure and regret.
Being embarrassed and failing comes with the territory. Each and every parent and individual has and will fail. The questions I faced then and face this moment is not how to avoid failure or embarrassment, that question has passed, but what do I do next. As parents, that question never leaves us.
At some point, every parent reaching a moment where the psalm becomes a cry of the heart; “I’m a stranger in these parts; give me clear directions.” (Psalm 119.19)
When you get to that point, if you ask, they will share.
