Looking back, it is easy to see how others drew the conclusion that I was not listening. My body language screamed distractions. My eyes and hands were anywhere but present. I willingly admit, I was doing a poor job of listening! As the result of a medical crisis a few years ago, my hearing on one side does not work as well as I would like. Certain frequencies, mid-range and in the space of most individual voices, are less sensitive. While it usually does not impact my ability to listen once you have my attention, getting my attention can be a problem.
I have learned to walk with people I want to hear on the side that always hears. However, circumstances can and do take people to my weak side. In a recent case, I was blissfully enjoying everything that caught my eye. Until I felt a tug on my arm, I had no idea that I was ignoring the voice on my right. Before I had a chance to respond, I heard a contemporary translation of an old psalm; “Don’t turn a deaf ear as in the Bitter Uprising, as on the day of the Wilderness Test, when your ancestors turned and put me to the test.” (Psalm 95.8, 9)
I was reminded of the following mantras.
When there is a chance one is not going or able to be present in another’s company, say something upfront! Without wanting to be defensive, I could not hear the invitation to listen. It was a lost opportunity that could have been avoided if I had acted proactively.
When wrong occurs, deal with emotions first. It helped that I was profusely apologetic about my lack of a respond. I also took action to move to the other side so I could hear. When asked why I was acting (switching sides), I explained without linking it to my non-responsiveness.
When one receives an invitation to be present, seize it with hands, eyes, and ears! It is a time of sharing and giving, a priceless gift from one to another.
