I used to think that there were always two sides to a performance review. Since I was always the receiver and my performance was “better” than the words indicated, there was the reviewer’s side and mine. I “knew” that neither one of us had the whole story, both of us were looking with bias, and that just because there were weaknesses noted in words I did not need to believe. In the intervening decades, I have given hundreds of reviews. I now see the process totally differently. In hindsight, my early views of the process were full of conclusions that were and are just plain wrong!
First, I did not realize that a “review” came from the relationship that existed between the two parties. In this context the key thing I needed to remember when hearing positive and negatives was my belief in the other person’s motives. Where they looking out for me, trying to help me develop, and working to provide insights? If this was not true, then the opposite was. Secondly, when one “listens” it is always with a common purpose; to learn and understand. I wasn’t interesting in understanding and learning; I wanted to win!
I often find myself wanting to win in relationships. I want them to work, I want to be right, and…well just “I”. It does not stop there; I also want to win with the Divine! Think about it. When someone tells you something less than positive how do your respond? When you disagree what is the root issue? I would venture a guess that most problems center around my “needs” taking second place to another. I am not interested in knowing the truth.
God does not need to win in your life or mine. In fact, His motives are absolutely and totally pure; yet he is totally honest with us as well. Our faults are no problem; He knows them inside and out! Question is; do I want to listen to the truth?
“Diligent work gets a warm commendation; shiftless work earns an angry rebuke.” (Proverbs 14.35)
