There are several intense contests where I play a role. Some might consider each scene as a battle. For many reasons, the varied perspectives, ever changing participants, and often even confusing positions, there does not seem to be a clear A versus B way of describing what is unfolding. The one constant is the need to take a decision and muster action.
Life is giving me fresh learning experiences if I am willing to look through willing and open eyes. Examples include the following.
Life is full of individuals, even communities, who are not aware of the larger story. The first option in the contest is to slow down and explore how others see and understand what is unfolding. When the person in the mix is not aware of a larger story, there is an opportunity to respond with stories and illustrations. The normal go to response of being adversarial is trumped by the opportunities to point to the larger story, greater context, and potentially shared interests.
There is a season, even in the heart of a contest, for every action. Not every moment is a time to strike, even when one has the advantage. Defending the line can open new opportunities for a shared win. Creating opportunities for others to see the opportunities may be the best offensive response you can bring. As recent situations remind me, some contests just need an adult in the room to resolve the matter.
In every moment one has a choice to make. Even in the heat of a contest, one has the freedom to choose how s/he treats others. Frayed emotions and tempers can be transformed into positive new emotions through respect and love. The example Divinity set in the psalms is a pattern one can repeat; “he [Divinity] defends the wronged, he feeds the hungry. God frees prisoners” (Psalm 146.7). The question is not about the outcome but of the process. Compassion takes priority over justice. Harmony is worth more than being right. Kindness and care are always important, even in a battle where one cannot lose.
