I watched as a young boy pursued the why question. It did not, was not going to stop. I turned and asked the father how long he generally let the question continue.
“I try to keep it going as long as I can. Eventually I run out of patience, energy, and at times answers. I am learning to be candid, suggesting that we can continue another time.”
I remember being patient to the point there were no more whys, at least for the moment. I also recall cutting the line of questioning off! I wish I had this father’s wisdom.
The irony is that despite decades of asking the question, I along with many others are still not done. Why do the people I work with do what they do? Why… I can hear myself asking relentlessly even as my mind races ahead to get the new whys ready.
In thinking of what I would say to the child who wants to know why questions remain unanswered, I find myself trying to answering questions I have had since childhood.
There are far more why questions than there are answers. It seems that many want to answer what they think we should be asking, not what we have asked. It is as if questions are doubt statements leading to negative accusations. In the rush to defend, the heart of the question is left unanswered and untended.
To understand some answers, the listener needs to have experience and context. Even simple answers to sex, death, or war do not make much sense to a child of three years in any era. And old observation rings true, “Who can make sense of such rage, such anger against the very ones who fear you?” (Psalm 90.11) I would gently observe that although we hear and understand the meaning of the words as commonly defined, we do not understand the heart.
To the child I would offer the following advice. Keep on asking questions! You may not get the answers but the pursuit of the answers is part of being alive.
