There is a certain smell that triggers an instant, almost uncontrollable action within me. My reaction is not pretty. It is also one I intend to make in public.
I know when exactly it started. I was on holiday during the winter break of my eighth grade year. We were staying with friends when my mom decided to cook a favorite dish. As excited as I was about mom’s cooking, I was also fight a stomach bug that was consuming every bit of strength and attention I had. At the mutual peak of both, cooking smells permeating every part of the house and bugs dominating my body and rejecting everything in my stomach as fast as they could, the smells and illness became forever linked. At this day, the smells of a certain Indian spice frying triggers an upchuck reaction with me that is barely controllable.
Recently I smelled that smell. It may have been decades since the first link and months since the last occurrence, but the urge to toss everything out of my stomach was instant! I am not sure anyone noticed the smell mixed in with everything dominating the senses. I fought for control unable to prevent the action my body had already embraced. I looked around, thankful that I was alone and hopeful that no one had noticed.
I hate that smell! As much as I like all Indian spices, there is one, when fried that seems to control me. If I never smell it again, it is fine with me. I willingly admit I am like the Egyptians in a moment long ago; “Egypt was glad to have them go – they were scared to death of them.” (Psalm 105.38)
Even more than the smell, I vehemently dislike the control the smell seems to have over me. I have worked on understanding things intellectually, staying away from where the smell could be, and even methods to become less sensitive to it. In and through these actions, this smell still has control.
I will continue to work on this; hopefully no repeats.
