It is interesting to see how a conversation can pivot with the introduction of an observation or question. I have come to see pivots as a positive indication of the link between another’s dark nights of their soul and how s/he is living out the day. The more connected their intense nights are to the undercurrent of the day, the more likely the conversation is to pivot.
Observational lessons include the following.
Conversational pivots to the heart of what is real in our lives is far more likely to happen when the group is small and trusted. Large groups rarely muster the courage to go deep. Conversations when one or more parties do not share trust with others, are likely to stay on the surface. A combination of conversation intimacy and trust is an open doorway to real conversations.
Real conversations are hard to fake. The difficulty of faking it rises exponentially as the conversation continues. There are two obvious reasons. First, the one faking it will struggle to authentically describe what is going on within their heart and mind. Second, what a faker describes was summarized by an old writer; “Anyone who sets himself up as ‘religious’ by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air.” (James 1.26).
In a pattern I experience during my dark nights, it is in the struggle with tough questions that I rediscover the values I hold closest to my heart. Knowing how these fit within my life is often a difficult challenge and yet it is also a wonderful opportunity. It is in the uncomfortable questions which open me up to Life’s whispers that I experience hope, love, and Divinity’s embrace.
As I consider the possibility of the new day, I am struck by the way life offers us a fresh start and an open slate. We are authors of our story, played out in the lives of everyone we encounter on the journey. Some try to bluff their way through. My prayer is that I will keep it real.
