It is demotivating and demoralizing when someone is recognized for something they have not earned or do not deserve. It is as if they are manipulating the world they live in. I watched, reacted, and buried it deep within me. It was a moment that I look back on with wonder. I still do not grasp the recognition “why”. I have guesses but I do not get it. As crazy the action might seem, I am still reflecting on my reaction. I am not sure where my aspirations were in that moment. However, I remember my thought at the time. If I edit to be family friendly, I find myself quoting an old psalm; “Strike their names from the list of the living; no rock-carved honor for them among the righteous.” (Psalm 69.28)
In short, even as others clapped and smiled, I watched horrified.
As my mind replays the scene, I find myself turning to three beliefs that I often lose.
Unless I am being asked to opine, the recognition of others is not my concern. Life is often unfair, cruel, and even spiteful. There are no promises that life is going to limit recognition to the deserving. Experience reminds me that life has an unusual way of allowing unfair recognition to occur only to extract a price for that moment in the future. In short, karma always seems to play out in the fullness of time.
I am accountable for my thoughts. The focus of this belief is not on the random temptations that come to mind. It is a statement that consideration is a choice. Condemnation, even if just within my imagination, is real in all its forms. I own the visible and hidden thoughts, choices, and actions. For each, there will be an accounting.
I can take a positive action by choice, even when my prayer is to damn. Compassion, an intention choice to let go, and mercy are all options. I can reach for what is right even when I am feeling negative.
I am well past the time to let go.
