Mentoring and coaching can be rewarding, especially when individuals are able to break the cycle of repeating behaviors that are detrimental to their careers or lives. The risk in this space is that not everyone is able to break free. For many different reasons, old patterns remain or find their way back into their lives.
To anyone considering being in this space, my observations for consideration include the following.
Growth takes more than perfect advice. Life is never about awareness or understanding of information. If information was the answer to everything, we would be living in very different world. More data and information has been created in the last two years than the rest of history combined. Even if one is able to deliver perfect advice, more is required if one expects change leading to growth.
With each repeat of an old pattern, the pattern will become stronger and more embedded. An old observation is still true; “Over and over God rescued them, but they never learned – until finally their sins destroyed them.” (Psalm 106.43)
Often the best advice is expressed and heard in the silence that follows a mentor act of listening. The gift of being present, open, and listening with the intent of understanding creates space for restoration and healing. In experiencing this, one discovers new ways of seeing life.
One time is never enough. As one experiences the gifts of compassion, empathy, and community a change occurs. Patience, presence, and persistence are needed to support the process that often takes far longer than anyone anticipated at the beginning.
I wish I could say that I had discovered the perfect formula. AS I look in the mirror, I know I need the friendship and guidance that comes from trusted individuals. Their wisdom is instrumental in my quest to be a better man. Their patience and willingness to stay the course ensures that change continues. The experience of walking with them reminds me how important relationships are.
Our journeys will be filled with many small steps. In each is an opportunity to move forward.
