In a mentoring conversation, a question was asked, “How do I know what kind of a leader I really am?”
Sensing he wanted to know and see the truth, “Watch what people do in response to your actions, especially when there was no invitation to action.”
The exchange continues to stayed with me. It is almost as if Life knows I need to wrestle with the question and the lessons within it.
The first is a simple one. Do I want to see the truth? My head says “yes” as it wrestles with my heart that says “I am not so sure”. My heart likes the story I have crafted for for my own consumption. This mythology says that I am strong, courageous, always consistent, and true to a lofty set of values. Even as my heart pushes this message, my mind, body, and soul know that reality is very different.
Second, am I willing to do something with what I know? Living with the disconnect is one thing, doing something with it is quite another. I find the heart and head contest often creates a tension within that I find difficult to resolve. I am caught between acting on my greatest ideals and aspirations and enjoying the moment without having to engage or do anything. The decision reflects a false premise, but the premise still parades itself as if it is the only option.
Third, will I left myself be influenced and led when needed as easily as I step up to lead? Something I have come to appreciate is the value of listening, reflecting, and opening myself to the influences of truth that is held by others. As and when I do, good things always follow. When I do not, ah, life always seems to return to its chaotic self.
A writer once noted an action and reaction; “When it’s dark and night takes over, all the forest creatures come out.” (Psalm 104.20) There are links in our lives. When we connect them, opportunities and insights wait for our use. We choose the next.
