It was a nightmare flight. Even with some good news, sitting in an exit row, everything seemed to be going wrong. The peak moment came after takeoff as soon as the seatbelt sign disappeared. As if he had angel’s wings, the person next to me disappeared through the curtain into business class. Moments later a woman appeared with a baby I guess to be 4 or 5 months old. The baby has two states. One was quiet and sleeping. Beautiful, settled, and restful; it was a scene of inspiration and meditation. Unfortunately, this state was rare and brief.
The alternative, triggered by a change in cabin pressure, was uncontrollable screaming and flailing limbs. It was clear that the child’s ears were in pain. While my heart went out to her, my exhausted soul cried for relief! Every attempt by the mother to help ended in piercing screams. Feeding was a temporary solution, exhausted long before relief was appreciated by anyone nearby. The pacifier was tried without success measured beyond fifteen seconds.
It was clear that mother cared. She was attentive, calm, and controlled. She was also out of ideas! I felt helpless. With the exception of an alternative pacifier by offer the baby a parent’s finger, I struggled to imagine what the parent could do that she had not already tried. Meanwhile my headache and aching body only felt worse.
A few decades ago, this could have been me. I remember those days with a mixture of fondness and lingering desperation. I always smile with the first part of an old writer’s words. “If his children refuse to do what I tell them, if they refuse to walk in the way I show them,” (Psalm 89.30) and then then what? In the end, the answer that everyone who ever loved a child gives remains the same. I will try to help. I was try to be there. Regardless of what happens, I will love and never abandon that child.
Caring does not always travel with Answers. Caring comes with Compassion, Empathy, and a willingness in relationship.
