Self

It is hard to look in the mirror.  I can see others clearly, but to look at myself it difficult.  Even on a good day, I see a reflection.  I know my eyes are not deceiving me, yet the story I see, hear, and internalize often has nothing to do with the facts.
I enjoy looking through the lens of a camera.  I find myself seeing life differently.  Somehow the process is more complete.  My mind finds itself experiencing the textures all around me, living with the nuances of colors, and even grabbling with the shades that never seem to end.  As I walked down Allen late at night on the way to the New York apartment, I found myself caught in the reflection of a light post in the rain’s remains.  The colors were simple.  The contrasts were stark yet naturally soft.  Even the content begged to be ignored.  Yet I hesitated.  It was as if God wanted to have a conversation.
Life with all its chaos is far simpler than we want it to be.  Am I willing to be fully and completely present in the moment at hand?
My choices are often far more black than white.  Can I stand to truly see the reality around me?
The question we have to struggle with is always the same.  Who will be king; community or I?
Metaphorically, the picture is extremely ugly.  God is right.  “You satisfy your lust any place you find some shade and fornicate at whim.  You kill your children at any convenient spot—any cave or crevasse will do.”  (Isaiah 57.5)
Yet the picture does not end here.  I stand before God naked and recreated.  I am God’s child.  Restoration calls out, waiting to be embraced.  The self of the moment passed can be engaged in the community of the present.  Everything is possible with God.  Truth’s light, even in a reflection can draw one’s self into the family one was always meant to be a part of.  It is a sight worthy of our lives.  It is ours, now, always.