In any effort to understand another, it helps to walk in her/his shoes. The longer the walk, the greater the opportunity is for one to understand with care, kindness, and compassion. Life reminds me to take this step before drawing battle lines in the sand. However, the decision and attempt to do this are rarely as simple and easy as it sounds. The lessons of the past leave me reminders I find myself holding onto today.
Life in the moment can only be seen when one understands the journey to get here. Even in my own journey, it is easy to miss the connection in how I see this morning differently because of yesterday or mornings before that. I find I need to let go of my assumptions, even for myself, if I am to have any chance of seeing the moment for what it is. As I hear the greater stories, of families, siblings, friends, and experiences, the way one sees the dusty marine mist of the morning changes. The soft off whites and light browns give way to reflections and the natural fears, uncertainties, and doubts which travel within each of us.
The insights which emerge always leave me with questions. I have learned to accept without fully understanding the why, even when it is with the big unknowns. The psalmist reminds me of an obvious question, “I wonder why you care, God – why do you bother with us at all?” (Psalm 144.3). I am not suggesting that it is a good idea to stop seeking the answer. I am reminding myself that as I seek to know more, I can work with what I know now.
When I embrace this two-step approach, I always find myself looking at others and myself differently. Walking in another shoes changes the relationship to one of a friend and extended family. One may still disagree. However, it does not mean one must destroy. Kindness and compassion are allies in this process because everyone, starting with myself, needs the kind of help which lifts, inspires, and restores.
