I was recently asked to compare the present with my younger days. As the question lingered unanswered, the first question for me to respond to became more and more specific.
“What do you most appreciate now that you did not then?”
Even as I struggled to put the answer into words that conveyed the answer in context, the simple answer was and is, “space”.
I have always been a rush. I want to get to my destinations and dreams as quickly as possible. I feel a need from deep within me to do whatever I can to achieve the goals I have committed to. My will has, at times, trumped considerations for health and taking care of myself. The drive to achieve has been paid for by friends and family in ways I deeply regret.
For far too long, destinations mattered more than journeys. What we needed to achieve was, once agreed, worth whatever price was demanded or expected. As I look back, the first thing I see is twisted thinking! Each step of the journey is the only thing that matters. The destination will follow the steps and the path. Being expedient always comes with unintended consequences and costs that one never imagined, much less anticipated.
As I look now, I am moving more effectively than I have in years. The key difference is the value placed in and with “space”. Taking time to refocus and plan is part of space. Letting the soul, heart, and body recover demands that I embrace space. Feeding my being starts with space. When I reflect on the psalmist note, about how “after Israel left Egypt, the clan of Jacob left those barbarians behind,” (Psalm 114.1) the wisdom of space is reinforced.
I have come to appreciate that space is the one thing I can give myself. It is a choice that allows Divinity to expand within and gives relationships of choice room to grow. It also gives permission for Wisdom to speak and to my heart to listen. Space asks me to let go and embrace the unexpected.
