We are considering hiring an individual for a key position. I reached out to those I knew that might know him. There were several objectives to this. First, I potentially would understand how others assessed his performance. Second, I could begin to see his role and how he responded to the opportunities that he had. Third, I wanted to hear his story.
There are two hurdles that I find when I reach out to the network. Individuals need to know and remember. They also need to be willing to share their views and insights. In this case, nobody remembers.
There is something wonderful when one is remembered. Good or bad, it is better to be remembered than forgotten. When I think of others struggling with this, I realize that it is a universal desire. Paul was telling his story. In trying to provide details, he reached out to his network. “Practically every Jew in town who watched me grow up—and if they were willing to stick their necks out they’d tell you in person—knows that I lived as a strict Pharisee, the most demanding branch of our religion.” (Acts 26.5)
The questions were the same. Would they remember? If so, would they be willing to share?
Recently I found myself honored when two remembered and were willing to share. I would never assume that anyone would be willing to do this for me. The lingering questions that rest within include the following.
Am I paying attention to the stories of others? Are we walking together, sharing the journey? Are the details of the journey, the particulars of the steps important to me?
Would I be willing to share our story with others? Am I willing to look at life through their eyes and in the context of the bigger picture?
Being a reference comes with responsibilities. One must be engaged with others to have a fair view. One must be looking beyond one’s self to see more. It is an invitation by another to be more than we are is a window into their soul.
