I vividly remember the first time I realized life had switch moments. I had been struggling with an extended period of darkness highlighted by my blindness on where things were going with work and resolved situations with people I cared about. Just before the switch, I recall I was sitting, unable to move. When my phone starting ringing, I was not sure if I could pick it up.
The call was not a solution or resolution to anything. Candidly, it was simply an invitation to a meeting. Although the meeting had the potential of a second meeting, nothing was certain. Yet, with a single call, no change in circumstances, life switched from black to white, darkness to opportunity.
I have been wrestling with a small point for the last few weeks. I know, intellectually, that it will sort itself out. I understand the circumstances of why things are where they are. As certain as I am about the why and the how, I cannot help but wrestled with the uncertainty and darkness which could follow.
Knowing that one is dealing with an uncertainty that others are wrestling with, at least for me, does not change the overwhelming darkness and how it permeates my thoughts when everything else is quiet. There are lessons which do flip the switch. They include the following.
Take time to remember. This is not the first time I have wrestled in the dark. When I pause and focus on remember, I can recall several moments when “the moment I called out, you [Divinity]stepped in; you made my life large with strength.” (Psalm 138.3)
Let others into your space. When I do, inevitably there is a reason to smile, a call to laughter, and a candle in the darkness. I often like reveling in the muck, seemingly proving to myself that I deserve it. My darkness was never about my abilities or results, it is always about my willingness to accept the gift of forgiveness and the hope will comes along with it.
Living for something better starts with a choice, a switch.
