“Put your [God’s] hand out and steady me since I’ve chosen to live by your counsel.” Psalm 119.173
Yesterday probably came across to my peers as a model day; no lost tempers, no malicious acts, words under control, and a few random acts of kindness thrown in for good measure. For the externals I could earn a medal every disciplinarian would be proud. Things were in order, I behaved as the situation dictated, and I adhered to every letter of the law. I lived an awesome day, my visible performance was A+.
Ah, the insides were a bit different. Yes, I woke up and chose God’s counsel, I resolved to live out the day in His presence, and I committed my life to him. I did all though things and my god of self still came through! On the outside, I offered grace and acceptance while my true heart judged, placed, and exacted a price for past failures. My struggle because a battle waged on throughout the day.
The war was intense – inside versus outside, what my body wanted to do versus the dreams of my heart. The waves were large but invisible to the people around me. Turmoil bubbled away and I actually think it was a good thing! The contrast was stark – black and white, crisp and fuzzy.
Death presented itself at my door. I looked, hesitated, perhaps even paused, and quickly moved on. Adversaries attacked and I retaliated with a pincer move. Challenges rolled in and I took them on head on. Opportunities came up to climb a step, I jumped over three.
David fought the same battles. Moments of joyous celebration in God’s presence followed by incredible hedonism. His courageous stands for honesty, acceptance, and love contrasting with self-pity, gratification, and glory. Every act and decision from a “man after God’s own heart”.
Failure is not an option; it is a life fact for you and me. Great people are not those who win the battles, rather ones who recognize their mistakes. God offers to guide, take it and live.
