There is one continuing fact I work with that creates equal amounts of excitement and frustration. There is no way that either of us can succeed without the other. The harsh reality is that I do not have access to the 15 computer systems that we access to perform our work. Even if I did, I do not have any first hand knowledge of what information I would input into what field. I do understand the process at a high level. I have read the procedures and expressed comments. In the end, I am just a spectator who benefits from the gift of other's work.
Work is never one sided. I believe that I add value to the equation. Resolution of conflicts, creating an environment where consensus can be built, and communicating a common sense direction of where we are going are things with which I excel. Knowing that we can depend on each other frees each to focus on their piece of the puzzle.
I frequently get confused about what God does and I what can do. I loose sight of His work, strength, and abilities and try to do it on my own. The outcome is never pretty! My god of self comes to life, my ego flames briefly, and my life quickly spirals into a semi-depressed mass of uncertainty. When this happens, I usually go searching for God.
God warns you and me about this process. “No matter how hard you look, you won't find me.” (Proverbs 1.28) We cannot do His work. The words may sound subtle and inconsequential; however, the shift in what I do is critical.
The trouble that I have is that when my god of self fails and I go looking for God, I am usually only looking for something to strengthen my self. There is a critical missing piece. I need only give up, acknowledge that I cannot do it, and God will find me. God is constantly reaching out to you and me; looking to express His unconditional love.
What is my first work? Give up.
