How much am I worth? Regardless of the way one tries to answer this question, there is a follow-up; why? The most accurate way to hear one’s answer is to watch the body language.
I watched a toddler soon to be young boy on the playground. It was clear that he believed he was the priceless center of his mother’s universe. He was confident, flamboyant, and totally transparent. He was also fragile and vulnerable. He desperately needed his mother’s affirmation. When it arrived, he was emboldened. When it was not there, you could see the seeds of doubt beginning to grow.
The playground example continues as repeating video in the lives of several I interact with frequently. There are minor variations but the core plot lines remain the same. In summary; actions and activities, especially as perceived by others, define one’s self worth. While one can find exceptions, they are in a clear minority. Young, old, powerful or weak, poor and rich, all demonstrate their worth through action with a confirmation coming through the views, perceptions, and response of those around them.
From observation I would note that the exceptions all share one attribute in common. Their worth is defined by something external. The source varies – from their parentage, to their relationships, and even in the way they see themselves. What makes each similar is that the source has nothing to do with individual actions, activities, or outcomes. They are worthy, often priceless, because that is what s/he is.
In the case of this last group, there is a natural tendency to undervalue them. After all, outcomes are not the measure of their worth! As a minority, many look and say “they didn’t count for much, a mere handful, and strangers at that.” (Psalm 105.12)
There is a second distinction with the latter group; the growth and depth in their lives. As a group, they are critical of themselves and open to something better. If I could paraphrase their body language; “it was never about my worth, it was always about us”; intent and worth intertwined.
