The toll of being far away from home, different time zones, shuttling from city to city, confronting difficult subjects related to performance and failures, and dealing with future uncertainty was getting to me. Combined with a lack of sleep and not enough water and you have a full recipe for being moderately depressed. The frustration with unresolved problems, people who cannot get the message, and problems that seems to expand instead of contract washed all over my soul and bubbled out in anger.
Two gifts changed everything.
The first gift was the smiles of my three favorite girls when I arrived home in the early hours of the morning. It is hard to describe just how important and encouraging a smile and a hug can be to someone who has been away from home far too long.
The second was more subtle. After fighting deadlines, minimal data, and a lack of real information, I had resolved myself to a long fight based on differing views of how to reward and motivate people. Instead, the review turned into a mutual discussion of shared concerns, possible alternatives, and approaches we wanted to pursue in the future.
“Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.” (Proverbs 13.12)
There is much in life to get any of us down. Sickness and death are hiding at every corner. Heartache and broken relationships are waiting to strike even the strongest. Frustration nags even the most patient. The toll on one’s heart is hard to describe, even to those close to you. I am reluctant to burden someone else with a problem that is not theirs or to get them involved where they can add little except sympathy.
Attacking the symptoms of life rarely helps. Look to the real problem and answer.
Life is painful and we have no sure answer. I know I cannot win, but God already has. God’s gift of recreation, mercy, and love all begins before I turn to him. Turn, check them out. This is the break we have always looked for.
