Angst

The soul’s midnight is usually a very dark place.  There is no place for our secrets to hide.  Honesty is a brutal keeper of the game.  Every Fear, Doubt, and Uncertainty has a place in this gathering; uninvited though they may be.  The cry of the parent’s heart is always the same.  It echoes the emotions expressed by those in love.  It reminds one of the heartache found in the presence of unbearable pain.  The scene comes on us, uninvited, and often feared. No matter what we do with the angst, we stir to face another day with the dawn.
 
I find myself walking into this place with my regular red-eye commute home and to work.  There are two recurring questions.  Could I have done more about yesterday?  What will I do about tomorrow?  The latter often begins to take on urgency with the dawn; will can and will I do with today?
 
Yesterday’s angst is shared among us all.  If we move beyond our self we encounter the response of others.  Even the cry of Isaiah reflects your cry and mine.  “Heaven and earth, you're the jury.  Listen to God's case: ‘I had children and raised them well, and they turned on me.  The ox knows who's boss, the mule knows the hand that feeds him, but not Israel.  My people don't know up from down.” (Isaiah 1.2, 3)
 
Today I find myself both child and parent.  I often walk as if I don’t know up from down, parent from substitute, and good from evil.  Yesterday’s steps are lessons waiting to be unpacked.  There is no need for guilt, learning, insight and instruction are their intended outcomes.  Everything point to the present moment.  What will be our intent?  What will be our decision?  How will we respond to the community in which we find ourselves?
 
This choice can and will shape the nights to come.  Divinity openly invites each to participate in the unfolding revelation of love, mercy, and compassion.  We can be part of the process.  The night can inform and shape the present.