Awareness

Losing track of time isn’t hard to do, especially when you heart and soul is into whatever you are doing.  It is as if time suspends itself – making no apparent forward motion, yet not idling either.  In the midst of this suspense I rarely find myself stopping to eat or drink.  I lose track of the sensations which give me indicators for hunger, thirst, and the onset of exhaustion.  Nothing exists except for the moment in which I am.  Everything is secondary but for the place of my heart.
 
People at the top of their “game” lose all track of life outside of the moment.  You find examples in sports, business, and in many pursuits of things completely self-centric.  There is a moment on the record where you find Jesus totally, completely, and utterly focused on the present.  Death was knocking.  The stresses of the immediate were life threatening.  Everything was at stake.  Finally, “Jesus, seeing that everything had been completed so that the Scripture record might also be complete, then said, ‘I'm thirsty.’” (John 19.28)
 
When I read about this type of obsession and commitment I wish I could say my life revolved around these types of moments.  There are pockets, but few and far between.  I have seen glimpses, yet in the dawn’s new sun they seem to have faded with the early morning mist.  The most frequent place and space where this is missing is in my response to the relationships around me.  I seem to lose my connection with God and refocus on my self agenda.  In this moment my awareness to the Divinity all around me stops.
 
There is an alternative.  I can come back, frequently, often, moment to moment, and refocus on my relationship with Divinity.  God wants to live within me.  I can be home to the Divine.  If I invite, focus on giving my heart up to this purpose, and live within this moment, everything else will come into the right balance.  The awareness and intensity of this moment need not end; it is life – yours and mine.