“Generous in love – God, give grace! Huge in mercy – wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sings in your laundry.” Psalm 51.1
These days I know a good worship experience when I have one. I find awareness of my weaknesses, failings and all, are staring me right in the face, and it is ok. Trust me when I say that scene is never pretty! Bad choices here, haunting memories from the past and the ghosts of temptations old come and reside right where I can see them. It is not that the past is glorious, or even a good thing, rather that I now see myself through God’s eyes.
Today as the visions of days past came quickly. The words of a song by Michael and Helen Frye overwhelmed my emotions and guilt.
“I have sung my songs of praise, thanksgiving on my lips, bowed low and worshipped you. But now I’m coming close, closer than before for the veil is torn in two.
I feel so safe with You, acceptance in Your voice, you whisper tenderly ‘You are my beloved, chosen one, my friend, you’re so precious to me.”
Yes, we fail. We fail in ways that are amazing to anyone beside ourselves. David failed in spectacular fashion; these words begin his prayer after Nathan confronted him about his adulterous relationship with Bathsheba. No excuses, no rationalization, rather an open honest plea for grace, mercy, and a through cleaning!
Yesterday I faced my failures and came away refreshed. Yesterday I stood, sang, and cried for God to “lift me from the ashes and sit me high up with the princes”. I came face to face with myself and looked as God looks.
It is difficult to describe the awesome sense of peace and love that comes through this process. The process it not as cumbersome as it might sound. All you need is a willing heart and a decision to reach out.
Try it; make David’s prayer your prayer. God works amazing miracles, especially with wrecks like you and I.