Carli is having a birthday today. The fact that she is firmly into the teen years is just one more sign of my age, an awareness that seeps through in every aspect of life. As I reflect on the blessings she brings to the family, I find myself caught in the awesome shadow of how God moves.
There are so many ways that God reaches out, touches us right through to our hearts, with an intensity that will not let us go no matter how much we try to be independent. In as many ways minus one, we try to do our own thing. Sometimes we think we know better, other times we just want to please ourselves, and occasionally we have no clue! I wonder if we, myself primarily, really understand what is at stake. And throughout everything, God loves unconditionally and without end. I am more aware of this state of being than at anytime in my life. I wonder how I can share and give this awareness to Carli.
Catching glimpses of God has also brought a sense of personal sadness. The awareness comes on two fronts, personal actions (or lack of) and suffering. I see myself failing to help and nurture others every day. Life is fast stream where individuals can offer lifelines to others. I believe my God given purpose is to tend to the needs of others in the journey with God. Watching my selfishness play out, robbing others of a chance to sense and feel God’s Presence, is painful. When you add the pain that comes with living that combination is almost debilitating! Paul captured my feelings well.
“We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, anymore than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting.” (Romans 8.23,24)
I am also aware of three facts. God is big, bigger than any pain in life. God is strong, stronger than every enemy. God is love, rescuing us to Himself.