I recently went through two very difficult conversations. In the greater story of life you and I are in, the conversations rightfully take their place in the corner. I know they are not life threatening, unless I choose to let them be. I understand that the world may not be materially different because of them, but individual paths will change. What were options are quickly disappearing. While others will put these in perspective, I am not yet able to do this. The lingering impact is a sense of darkness and of an impending storm. Life will be harder given the options left. Success will be illusive, hiding as often as it appears within reach.
I find myself seeking a quiet space to reflect and consider. I realize others have already been in place where the future is clouded. While this situation is new, the feelings that overwhelm me are not. To others and even more to myself, I would offer the following thoughts.
As obvious as the good or bad of any event or situation is, only time will put it in context. A friend describes the wonder of a treatment working to arrest his cancer. His wonder turned to confusion when the treatment left him with a heart condition. The fear and pain that followed from a heart condition led him to path of rediscovering meditation and a Divine conversation. His conversation with God led him to a place of peace and purpose. He left us with the question; which event was good, which was bad?
The dark and painful in any situation is not an absolute indicator of what comes next. When you think of someone doubling up “in pain like a woman having a baby,” (Psalm 48.6) it is important to remember that the birth of a child takes pain into a joy that defies anyone’s ability to describe.
Today options have narrowed. The darkness reminds me that new opportunities are waiting to be found and embraced. I want, need to find them. They are a cure for my aches, fears, and uncertainties.