As I fly on into the darkness of the west, I know I will be skipping a day in my life. The lost day is a simple reality of how we keep time. Mentally I know nothing has been lost. Emotionally, it is a long flight home. The void within my heart is unmistakably there. Because of the cruel reach of Alzheimer’s, the emptiness began several years ago. With death’s reality, one no longer can avoid what one always tries to avoid. My heart silently screams, “You’ve dropped me into a bottomless pit, sunk me in a pitch-black abyss.” (Psalm 88.6) I can hear my heart but it feels like I am the only one.
I am reminded of the following.
As alone as anyone is, no one is ever totally alone. There are reminders etched in each heart and mind of the voices of beauty, whispers of love, and undeserved gifts of compassion that have touched in the past. In and among the pain, darkness, and feeling of abandonment, Love has left its mark.
Circumstances can blind one’s self to what is true and real. In any given moment, you and I can be blinded to the love, help, and support that is in our lives. We may be unable to see Hope, but it does not follow that our blindness is the whole story. Hope, beauty, and love may be in our lives, just beyond our sight, within reach if we only knew how to find it.
Stepping forward in faith that Hope is alive and present is one path to rediscovering Hope’s presence. Others may bring Hope into our lives. We may discover Hope as life touches our senses. There are multiple paths to Hope. Being open to Hope is the first step in being embraced by Hope.
And old Chinese saying reminds us that the darkest hour is just before dawn, that bitterness over, happiness arrives. My mother reminded me of this often, in words and in the way she lived. In darkness and light, every moment is an opportunity to live.